Letter 9: The butterfly named “Asmi”!
Dear darling daughters 1 & 2,
I am back today - with a butterfly named Asmi (pronounced: us-me) in my hand. The name Asmi originates from Sanskrit, to mean: I am; self confident. Asmi, the self confidence butterfly is borne out of the series of letters I have written to you so far.
This butterfly has been through the metamorphosis required to understand more clearly the nebulous concept of Self Confidence and how to build it and continuously feed it. Here are some things Asmi would like to remind to those starting a journey to building self confidence for the first time. This thing related to building self confidence often happened out of order for me. It may for you too. It is also an iterative process. But if there had to be a linear or simultaneous progression; you would, first, define your vision for your self; second design systems and habits that serve the vision you drew for yourself, and; third, be prepared for contingencies, need to adapt, and change. Simple and logical - right?!
And when self doubt or fear rear their head to shake the very groundwork of one’s self image and confidence, remember:
What your inner self can give you in terms of confidence, no one else can… Academically and practically, a lot of people have written about self confidence and done research on this topic. I have just touched upon it from my lens here… At the end of the day, that feeling of "I am enough" is what I am hoping for the two of you, especially during tumultuous trying times. I have undoubted faith in your ability to do so, do you?
The journey to self confidence always begins with finding out where you see yourself… you get to write your own script when it comes to the simple things that matter in life. You get to choose how you see yourself feeling as a student, daughter, a friend and other roles you may want to play in the future… And the very first seed to plant in your mind for the self confidence to grow - is to visualize how you want to see yourself now (short term) and in future (long term).
The work I did… helped me see that it was time for me to hone in on an identity based vision instead of outcome based vision. It was a moment of clarity when I realized the only way I could come back to my true potential was by becoming a confident, self-dependent woman. While this would mean different things to different people - it translated for me in the form of becoming my own champion. Owning every action, inaction, peaks and valleys I experienced.
Just like we cannot get safely to any destination without learning to decipher the feedback we receive from our cars, we cannot make our dreams and visions come to reality unless we learn to graciously receive the feedback our body, mind and environment is giving us. The first step in this process is to acknowledge it; using our creative faculties of perception, reason and intuition to process it; and using will, imagination and memory to continue to course correct our way to success.
I am realizing that successful people, or self-actualized individuals often have a common theme to them. They are disciplined beings, who follow through habits that serve their ideal self and goals well… And I have struggled with this discipline. My thoughts are loud and every time I try to make a change to my old thought patterns or bring in new thought patterns, they make me go down a spiral - physical and mental. Feeling the need to save me - from the imminent change…
Flooded with too many thoughts and a sense of overwhelm, I, fortunately, stumbled back on Louise Hay's affirmations related to making changes. I was able to convince myself to repeat to myself - "I am willing to change"…
It reminded me of the power I have to change the narrative for myself. Instead of just saying - I am being stupidly stubborn, acknowledging to myself that this is difficult for me, is very important. Recognizing that the seeming roadblock is part of the process of personal change. And seeing myself as the caterpillar in a cocoon helps me visualize a brighter future as that of a beautiful butterfly - who is getting ready to fly. Fly high.
My hope for you at the end of this series of letters is simple - that you can remind yourself of this butterfly named Asmi to help guide you or give you a starting place to building up your self-confidence. So you can thrive. And not just survive! May you ladies shine bright with confident light you bring to this world now and always!
Love you loads,
Mumma